Blog 2018-04-14T04:06:20+00:00


Radiate your power: yes all women…yes all humans

I am finding it highly challenging to concentrate on anything other than writing about misogyny, female control theory, and violence. When women own their sexual power it not only can be dangerous, but also is fundamental to women being whole. Living in that paradox is counterculture. There are positive effects of women owning their full power that are often invisible, while there tragic effects that rock our cultural foundation. It is no wonder than the deeply rooted resistance in women [...]

Compassion: love yourself enough to open every door

“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to (hu)man as it is, infinite." ~William Blake Here we are at the twentieth anniversary of the death of the transparent frontman of Nirvana who said, "Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." Kurt Cobain's words have affected me enough to warrant a mention to my surgeon twenty years later. We could quickly dismiss his impact on culture by saying, "Oh, poor sad [...]

Both bruised and not bruised: the longer now

When you are doubting yourself that is the perfect time to remind yourself how incredible you really are. Just three days post-surgery it makes sense to have a lot of pain. It feels like a bottomless pit of suck. Earlier today I was reading all about awesome workouts I want to do, saw some pictures of my mountain bike I deeply miss, and glanced at the break in my work schedule. It made me have that empty feeling: that feeling [...]

I am AWESOOOOME! And so are you! Thank you, Sekou Andrews. With every respect and celebration of the awesomeness of Sekou Andrews! "I’m not beautiful / like I used to be I’m beautiful / like I am Like the scar where a breast was once" YES! YES! YES! The Awesome Anthem by Sekou Andrews There are those days... When my drive crashes When my self-worth stalls by the side of the road, My confidence’s “Check Engine” light comes on / mid-hustle And I find myself at my bathroom mirror / finger to [...]

Emotionally naked: acceptance or bust {poetry | acceptance}

I tripped over an epiphany in my dark wanderings. It has occurred to me that now is the time to do the thing that terrifies me: expose my half-baked bod to the universe. Yes, that is right, I am using you for my own personal growth. You don't have to like it. But if you press on, it is happening. I'll admit there is another motivation as well. It feels isolating to have had bilateral mastectomy, but it doesn't need to [...]

Premeditated in an instant: killing Expectation and Judgment and {poetry | method}

“There is a fissure in my vision and madness will always rush through.” ~Anaïs Nin I used to be the most epic planner. My whole universe knew I carried a Franklin planner starting in high school. It started as a cute little vinyl trying-so-hard-to-be-leather version and evolved into an indulgent, self-important burgundy leather job with a gold nameplate in the lower right corner. I get a bit of vomit in my throat just thinking about whipping that thing out every [...]

Nipples optional: a mastectomy mama rocks the swagger

As I was getting ready to go out, I couldn't stop staring at my empty nipple crop circles. It's just weird. I'm looking at my body remembering seeing nipples, but nope...gone, empty, vacant space in their place. On other days I just breeze over that fact. I hop out of the shower and proceed on undistracted through my ten-minute spartan hygiene routine. Today was different. I got sad...really sad...really fast. I thought, "I am about to go put on that [...]

Suck it up: the truth about flat bellies and perky breasts

One of the stories that always gives me a giggle was a trip to the beach with my boys. They are tweens now, so likely this type of unabashed, uncensored curiosity has gone by the wayside. We all had just our swim suits on and I was doing the mama aerobics of slathering us all with sunscreen. As I was bent over doing my younger son's legs, he reached out, poked my lower belly that was elegantly hanging over my [...]

~My LIVED It List 2013~

Instead of a Bucket List, I'm a fan of a Lived It List, as some of you know. Looking back to celebrate and affirm that I soak every single bit of pleasure, love, and adventure from my life. A meditation I do at the beginning of the new year is reflecting on how deeply I lived as an inspiration for pushing my edge in the coming year. With my 2013 Lived It List as inspiration, 2014, the year of Brazen [...]

Body 2.0 has arrived: my story of prophylactic double mastectomy and DIEP flap reconstruction (so far)

Two weeks ago today I spent the day soaking in all the love and enjoyment I could knowing that in less than 24 hours I was going to undergo my long-anticipated prophylactic bilateral mastectomy and DIEP flap reconstruction. Intellectually, I understood what would be happening. I even thought I had an idea of the mental, emotional, and physical odyssey I was about to experience. I have never been more wrong in my life. I'm thrilled that Sunday I was able [...]

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